God’s NOT About to Waste His Ruby on a Cheap Band

by LoveBaby Jones

Breaking News: There is a bad case of  Soulmate Syndrome going around in our churches, affecting large quantities of single, God fearing men and women. Pastors are working expeditiously to determine the source of the problem, while their congregations look on in horror. Around the world, people are asking one question–where did this come from?

Experts have developed a quick test to determine if you’re a potential carrier of Soulmate Syndrome. Read the following instructions very carefully and complete them accordingly:

1) Extend your right arm so that it is perpendicular to your chest and all of your fingers point away from your body

2) Bend your elbow so your forearm is parallel to your chest.

3) Rotate your wrist in a counterclockwise direction and stop when it forms a 90 degree angle with your chest.

4) Fold the middle, ring, and pinky fingers of that same hand into a fist-like position.

5) Clasp your thumb over the three fingers that you just folded.

6) Keep your arm and hand in this position, if you are a man.

If you haven’t picked up on it, this article is direct towards all of the single, Christian men out there; but I urge the women to keep reading, as well. Let me make something clear, I’m not some radical female out to emasculate or degrade men, that would make me out of order and completely discredit every word in this post. I’m writing this blog, from a place of concern, as a wake up call to a lot of the men who are sitting around anxiously awaiting their special prize– a Proverbs 31 woman.

Survey: (Be completely honest with yourself) Raise your hand if you’re a man who thinks that we’re not all butt-naked and laughing in Eden today because of the serpent and Eve’s mistake?

If your answer to that question was yes, then I strongly advise you to keep reading. If not, still keep reading 🙂 Moving forward……The part that a lot of people overlook in Genesis 3 is the answer that Adam gives God when he asks about what he’s done. What Adam doesn’t say is, “My bad, Lord! I fouled up; I’ll try not to do it again”. Instead, what he says is, “This woman’s not working right, take her back and start over”. He never acknowledges that he was wrong, instead he blames everybody else that’s present. Now, Eve goes and does the thing same to the serpent, but that’s aside from the point that I’m trying to make. God gave the instructions to Adam. If he had just fessed up and said, “I know I was wrong, but that fruit was lookin’ GOOD!”, God might’ve given him another chance and just punished Eve and the serpent. However, when you deflect all of your problems onto the creation, you insult the creator; and trust me, He’s the last person you want to insult. What does this point have to do with finding your soulmate? Bare with me, and I’ll explain.

The reason why a lot of men will never find their “Proverbs 31” is because they don’t know how to treat the women around them. No, Eve wasn’t a Proverbs 31 woman in Genesis 3, but look at how she acted in Genesis 4. Stop going around criticizing and putting down every woman you meet that isn’t “your wife” and blaming those women for your singleness. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you will instantly fall into the role of a perfect husband when the right woman comes along; what you’ll really do is make a complete fool of yourself. Instead of going around asking every woman you meet if she’s a Proverbs 31, ask yourself, “am I 1 Peter 3:7 man?”. How about a Galatians 6: 1? Or a Romans 12: 1 and 2? I could go on for days, but you get the point. Stop worrying about everyone else’s conduct and work on your own. If you sense any pride within yourself, if you’re quick to anger, if you struggle with sexual immorality or perversion, ask God to work on your heart, so that you’ll know how to treat your P31 when you find her–lest you turn her into an Ezekiel 16 (eek!).

As the title states, God’s not about to waste His ruby on a cheap band. What that means is that he’s not gonna send you a Proverbs 31, if you don’t know how to act. God loves all of his children equally, male and female, so He wouldn’t deliver any of them into the hand of destruction. If you’re a cheap band, as in you look good for a while but start to turn green and rust as time progresses, God’s not about to let you get near one of his precious gems. Work on yourself, treat all of the women around you with respect, and most importantly, learn how to submit to YOUR husband–Christ. If you do these things, God just might give you your heart’s desire.

The quickest way to learn how to treat a woman is to look at Christ’s example. He never married, nor did he plan to, but that didn’t stop him from approaching every woman that he encountered with grace and compassion. Did He address the Samaritan woman by saying “Go, skeezer, take your water and depart from me!”? No! Go to John 1: 4-30 to read what he really said. If you see a sister who is struggling, show her the love of Christ and begin to plant seeds of wisdom into her life. Don’t look at her as a waste of your time, but as a little sister who’s been abused and mistreated by the world. Here’s a secret: Most women, even the ones who seem catty and bitter, want to be a Proverbs 31 from the innermost part of their being. In some cases, they just need one man (any man) to show them that genuinely good, God-fearing, bible-believing men still exist. They’re just looking for that one brother who’s willing to be patient them and show a genuine concern for their well-being–no strings attached. Why do you think so many of them seek out the stereotypical gay best friend? He’s nothing more than a distorted, perverted version of what YOU’RE supposed to be as her brother in Christ. So, learn how to take care of your sisters. In doing this, you will make up for some of the damage you’ve caused to other women while living in sin (if you ever came out). Give the gifts of wisdom and love to every woman that you meet, because if she isn’t your Proverbs 31, she might be somebody else’s; and the last thing you want to be is a player hater, for lack of a better term.

Before I close, I have to address something else that’s been heavy on my mind for a minute. Men, PLEASE, don’t go around believing or getting enticed by every woman who claims to be a Proverbs 31. The worst are the ones walking around with the shirts and  jerseys with “Proverbs 31” printed in big letters. Not to be graphic, but that’s just as bad as assuming every woman you see with a “tramp stamp” is a freak. For all you know, she got that tattoo back in the 90’s (before it was a seal of shame). Any woman who really is or strives to be a Proverbs 31, doesn’t walk around advertising herself saying “here boys, come and get me!”. Newsflash: Women have caught on to what you’re looking for, mainly because you go around putting up want ads everywhere, and the clever ones have started to act accordingly. Here’s how you spot a fraud (you might wanna write these down):

– She advertises that she’s a proverbs 31 every chance that she gets (t-shirt, earrings, bumper stickers, twitter name, twitter bio, facebook status etc, etc)

– Every time there’s a co-ed event or class for singles, she’s there

– Hangs out in places where she’s likely to meet “eligible bachelors” (lounges, coffee shops, jazz clubs, etc.) for the purpose of meeting “eligible bachelors”

– Will give almost any guy the benefit of the doubt at least once, if he’s in the church, has a solid income, and/or isn’t harsh on the eyes

– Gets depressed after spending time around children or married couples

– More sociable, loving, gentle, and patient with men than w/ women (you’ll know this by other women’s accounts of her conduct when you’re not around)

– She’s always asking men what they look for in a woman

– Her closest friends exhibit Ezekiel 16 behavior and she seems to tolerate it

– As soon as you express the slightest interest in getting to know her or the slightest concern that she’s not your “ideal woman”, she appears to straighten out instantaneously

If a woman possesses any of these qualities, more than likely, you are dealing with a fraud. If she doesn’t go around boasting that she’s a Proverbs 31, but possesses any of those other qualities, she’s a “work in progress”. A true P31 won’t even recognize when she becomes one, because she isn’t boastful. After reading this post, which I hope you have, and taking my words into consideration, go and read Proverbs 31 to remind yourself what it says. I hope that this post has helped a brother or sister in Christ, if not, it was all written in vain. If you know somebody who needs to read this, don’t hesitate to pass it along. It just might help him/her from making a terrible mistake. God bless and Shalom Aleichem, until next time! 🙂

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